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This Is Hard

Some days it's easy.  Praising God feels like it's coming from your core.  Choosing joy feels as easy as opening a gift.  Writing about how God has changed your world feels like you have an abundance of words on the subject.

Other days it's hard.  It's difficult to understand why that tragedy happened, why your depression is creeping back in, why it seems like God keeps placing you in painful situations when you're trying to follow where He is leading.

On those days, other options seem like better choices.  While turning to friends is a sweet gift, using them as a counselor or to save us from our pain is dangerous and unfair to those around us.  Working out and eating right are important parts of staying healthy, but overworking our bodies to the point of exhaustion to gain control is dangerous.  There are so many many vices that seem like fun distractions- alcohol, staying way too busy, binge eating, this list could go on forever.  It feels way easier to turn to something of this world when we are having difficulty feeling God's presence.

In the Bible, David faced times where he questioned where God was and why he couldn't feel Him near pretty often through the Psalms:

How long, Lord? Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
(Psalm 13:1-2)

Not only did David question God, but these thoughts were important enough that they made it in the Bible.  God chose for us to be able to read about others questioning- He is an all-powerful God, He could have only included stories of triumph in His name.  Instead, He wanted us to know that we aren't alone in times of doubt and distance.

While David had these thoughts and cried out wondering if God forgot him forever, he was still called "A man after My (God's) own heart" in Acts 13:22.

God heard every one of David's prayers and listened each time he cried out.  He knew David's thoughts and heart.  He saw David's sin.  He felt David's doubt.  Through all of this, He knew David wanted to serve the Lord.  God was fully aware of all of David's shortcomings and doubt, but knew David's heart fully.

David ended the Psalm listed above (Psalm 13) by saying:

But I trust in Your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in Your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for He has been good to me.
(Psalm 13:5-6)

Through everything, David chose to trust God's goodness even in the doubt.  He chose to praise even when it didn't feel good.  He knew that even when he couldn't feel God was there, he could see the evidence of God through moments of his past.  David's doubt didn't mean God was any less present than He had been before.

I don't know why certain things happen.  Life can be really, really hard.  Some days praising seems so hard, but it doesn't mean God isn't good.  I want to chose to rejoice even in my days of doubt and wondering.  If (and when) I mess up and lose sight, it's a reminder of the sweetness of God's grace.  

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)

For His anger lasts only a moment,
but His favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but joy comes in the morning.
(Psalm 30:5)

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 2, 2023 at 7:27 AM

    I am exactly there with you friend. Praying for you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMarch 2, 2023 at 8:38 AM

    I needed this today. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMarch 7, 2023 at 10:17 AM

    That is oh so true! He is always faithful.

    ReplyDelete

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